SHRMZDB

SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN
SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI KEMERDEKAAN YANG KE 54.

SEMOGA BERBAHAGIA SELALU, KEPADA YANG BERTUGAS SELAMAT MENJALANKAN TUGAS DENGAN JUJUR DAN IKHLAS.

RAHSIA TAHI LALAT

Masyarakat pada zaman dahulu mengenal seseorang dgn melihat tanda

pada

> badannya.Diturunkan di sini firasat tentang tahi lalat. Sejauhmana

> kebenarannya tidaklah diketahui dgn jelas. Namun begitu,ia biasa

> diajarkan di kalangan Masyarakat melayu.Hanyalah sekadar menambah

> pengetahuan.

> 

> * bibir atas kanan - banyak rezeki, pandai

> * bibir atas kiri - ramai kawan, baik hati

> * bibir bawah kanan - disegani orang, ramai yg suka

> * bibir bawah kiri - pandai bicara, tak mudah kalah

> * leher kanan - cerdas, jujur, berani menderita

> * leher kiri - cerdas dlm segala hal dan banyak pengetahuan

> * leher di tengah - tercapai cita-cita

> * biji mata kanan - suka serong dan pembohong

> * biji mata kiri - pembohong tetapi baik hati

> * hujung mata kanan - baik hati, sopan santun, cerdas

> * hujung mata kiri - baik budi, murah rezeki

> * betis kanan - suka berhibur, boros

> * betis ! kiri - rajin,tidak suka menganggur

> * lutut kanan - bersikap tidak peduli dan tak mahu berusaha

> * lutut kiri - kurang kuat berusaha

> * kepala sebelah kanan - terkabul cita-cita

> * kepala sebelah kiri - sering menemui kesusahan

> * kepala sebelah belakang - jujur, sabar dan tekun

> * kening kanan - cerdas dan cekap

> * kening kiri - cerdas, sopan santun

> * tengah kening - keras hati, berani segala hal

> * hujung mulut kanan - kecil rezeki, tak mudah kalah

> * hujung mulut kiri - suka berpoya-poya

> * ketiak kanan - dapat menyimpan rahsia

> * ketiak kiri - jujur, banyak yang cinta

> * pergelangan kaki kanan - suka berpergian (keluar rumah)

> * pergelangan kaki kiri - kehendak kuat

> * batang hidung - banyak dicintai orang dan dapat menjadi kaya

> * pada hidung - banyak rezeki

> * dagu bawah kanan - jujur dan baik hati

> * dagu bawah kiri - bijak sana dan berbudi luhur

> * kemaluan kanan atau kiri - baik, suka senggama

> * di kepala kemaluan (lelaki) - bakal beristeri 2

> * tumit kanan - jujur dan banyak kawan

> * tumit kiri - baik budi

> * alis kanan suka - menolong, baik hati

> * alis kiri - ramai yang suka

> * pangkal peha kanan - kemahuan kuat

> * pangkal peha kiri - suka kerja apa pun

> * telapak kaki kanan - tak mudah mengeluh

> * jari kaki kanan - suka menolong

> * jari kaki kiri - berbudi, suka berbuat baik

> * bahu kanan - cermat dlm membuat keputusan, banyak tanggungan 

> * bahu kiri - suka kerja keras, banyak tanggungjawab

> * lengan kanan - setia dan taat pada atasan

> * lengan kiri - menepati janji dan rajin

> * pipi kanan - ramai teman

> * tengah-tengah pipi kanan - ramai yg suka

> * tengah-tengah pipi kiri - ramai teman

> * ubun-ubun - kurang jujur

> * pusat - cerdas, tangkas, tekun

> * pusat bahagian kanan - sejahtera dalam hidup

> * pusat bahagian kiri - beroleh kemuliaan

> * pinggang kanan - sayang pada pasangan hidup

> * pinggang kiri - disayang pasangan hidup

> * dada kanan - dapat mengatasi masalah

> * dada kiri - berani, jujur dan sabar

> * telapak kaki kanan - tidak mudah mengeluh

> * telapak kaki kiri - baik budi pekertinya

> * siku tangan kanan - kuat ingin memiliki kekayaan

> * siku tangan kiri - baik hati, suka menolong

> * jari tangan kanan - serba beroleh keuntungan

> * jari tangan kiri - serba baik bekerja

> * jari telapak tangan kanan - banyak rezeki tapi boros

> * jari telapak tangan kiri - banyak rezeki dan cermat

> * perut bawah kanan - banyak rezeki, suka memberi maaf

> * perut bawah kiri - baik hati, tenang hidupnya

> * sudut mata kanan dalam - disayang suami atau isteri

> * sudut mata kiri dalam - tidak mudah dilupakan pasangan

> * sudut mata kanan luar - baik budi, ramai yg cinta

> * pelipis kiri - murah rezeki, dpt jadi kaya

> * pelipis kanan - serba berhasil dalam usaha

> * kelopak mata kanan atas - baik hati, ramah,berjaya

> * kelopak mata kiri atas ! - baik budi, ramai yg suka

> * elopak mata kanan bawah - agak malas

> * kelopak mata kiri bawah - agak bodoh, kurang bijaksana

> 

> Jadi pakat2lah tilik korg punye tahi lalat ye!!!!!

mat sabu banyak tahi lalat kat mana yek

Aksi Stunt Rempit India,Hingga Pecah Perut

baru belajar merempit, memang pecah perut gelak.

Mat Sabu hina pejuang negara - Pisau.net

dasar penipu, semua nak tipu.

99.9% manusia dijajah! « Muslim Village

99.9% manusia dijajah! « Muslim Village

SILA BACA DARI AWAL HINGGA AKHIR, SELAMAT BERJUANG SAUDARAKU.

PEMERIKSAAN JAIS DI DUMC 3 OGOS 2011

kredit:badut rakyat, palima perang siber

old man jokes

An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the
doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the
doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my
will three times!"



Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench
under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years
old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my
age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."



An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out
to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very
highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name
of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the
kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went
to last night?"


Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being
discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one
elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a
suitcase at his feet, who insisted he! Didn't need my help to leave
the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him
to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown."



Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay,
but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his
chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."
"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write
it down, so's not to forget it?"
He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it
down?" she asks.
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness
sake!"
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of
bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
"Where's my toast ?"


Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."



A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It
cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's
perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."



Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and
be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart
murmur; be careful."


One more. . .!


A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his
breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis."

Like those?

Now , before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know
who could use a good laff !

UJI MINDA. MIND BLOGGING

Pengiraan yg Ajaib....jom try test...



• Msukkn 3 no 1st hp anda tu (bknnye 012,016 @ 019)



ke kalkulator.


• kali (X) dgn 80



• Tmbh (+) 1



• kali (X) dgn 250



• tambahkn (+) 4 nmbor last hp anda



• Skali lgi tambahkn (+) 4 nombor trakhir td



• Tolak (-) 250



• Bahagikn (/) dgn 2




CUBA ACU TRY TEST TENGOK BETUL TAK TU NO TEL ANDA.


ATAU CUBA NOMBOR CONTOH: 1234567.

123 X 80 + 1 X 250 + 4567 + 4567 - 250 / 2 = 1234567

MENYENTUH PERASAAN

KALAU SEMUA ORANG JUJUR DAN TABAH MCM BUDAK NI KAN BAGUS.

APA AKAN JADI JIKA PAKATAN MEMERINTAH

Mohd said...

Malaysia sepatutnya belajarlah dpd Singapura!
Jika DAP dapat peluang memerintah Malaysia :
1. Kerajaan DAP akan mengikut sebiji macam cara PAP Singapura memerintah iaitu dgn cara kuku besi.
2. ISA akan digunakan utk melenyapkan Pembangkang iaitu BN.
3. Sebarang demonstrasi bodoh2 macam Bersih1 dan Bersih2 tidak akan dilayan sama sekali. Semua penganjur akan dipenjarakan di bawah ISA seumur hidup kerana cuba mengancam keselamatan negara.
4. Pada mulanya sahaja Anwar akan diangkat menjadi PM.(dah tak mungkin)LGE akan ambilalih.
5. Kemudian, Perlembagaan Malaysia akan dipinda utk memansuhkan Hak-Hak Keistimewaan Orang Melayu utk mengujudkan Malaysian Malaysia.
6. Kemudian, Institusi Raja-Raja Melayu akan dimansuhkan dan Malaysia pun dijadikan The Republic of Malaysia. Lim Kit Siang akan jadi Presiden. Komunis Ching Peng sudah tentunya akan dibawa balik ke Malaysia dan disanjung sebagai bapa kemerdekaan dan diberi ganjaran istimewa yg turut diwarisi oleh kaum kerabatnya!
7. Kaum Cina dari luar akan digalakkan utk berhijrah ke Malaysia, diberi kerakyatan Malaysia dan ditempatkan di merata2 di Malaysia utk melenyapkan kawasan2 majoriti Melayu spt yg telah berlaku di Singapura dahulu.
8. Lepas itu bermulalah mimpi ngeri bagi kaum Melayu
yg akan menjadi pengemis di tanah airnya sendiri spt yg sedang berlaku di Singapura sekarang.
9. Pada masa itu, kaum Melayu menangis air mata darah pun dah tak berguna.
10. Ahli2 PAS yg sedar mereka telah dikhianati oleh DAP dan PKR cuma telah menang sorak tapi kampung tergadai.
MAKIN RAMAI UMAT MELAYU AKAN MURTAD UNTUK DAPAT GANJARAN KRISTIAN
Nauzubillah.
Kaum Melayu ada ke baca sejarah Singapura?
Ingatlah sebelum kena, bila dah terkena, ternganga!
Oh ya, kan Melayu mudah lupa?

pautan:

http://jaringanmelayumal.blogspot.com

Kedai 1 Malaysia

memang betul, sapa punya kilang gula, sapa punya kilang tepong, kilang biskut dan macam macam lagi kilang barang keperluan.kalau kita tak beli diaorang eksport lagi untung besar.